This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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