I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
