Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
