Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
