I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
