i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
