did you get engaged???
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
