question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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