I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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