i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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