Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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