I feel great
I just peed on a car
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
