I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
