my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
