Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
