you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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