Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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