I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We are two peas in an std pod
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
