What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
