Kiss
Puke
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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