Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
