Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
