nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize