You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
