I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
