I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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