That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
