Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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