We named our party play list daddy issues
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
