Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
