Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
