I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
