What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
