trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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