she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
