did you get engaged???
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
