Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
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i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
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I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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