That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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