you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i drank out of a bidet.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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