dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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