Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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