true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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