thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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