i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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