great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
