she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
