i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
