just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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