i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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