It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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