In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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