you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
