he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
