it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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