you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
