i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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