I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
