STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
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you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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