i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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