i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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