i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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