I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
